The Maharajah's Den

Yesterday was Mother's Day, and we just relaxed on the couch/floor all day. I tried not to clean anything up or exert myself in an other unnecessary way--yeah right. When I think back over the past several months--or 8 months of baby plus 9 months of pregnancy, I realize how fortunate I am to have this sweet child. I know of a few women who have tried unsuccessfully for years to have a baby. All of the sleepless nights, back and booby aches, and worrisome crying are certainly worth it!!! I remember the first 2.5 months of pregnancy sickness--literally nauseous and dizzy around the clock--wondering if I would survive. Then, the next few months of "cuteness" left me convinced that I would get a worthwhile return on my investment. The last few months of pregnancy--well--those were indescribable. My SI joint in my hip became inflamed and it hurt horribly just to breath and exist. Walking and sleeping were nearly impossible, sending writhing stabs up my leg, back and hip. Luckily, some chiropractic help gave me a little relief.

After a fairly easy labor and delivery (if you count nearly 3 hours of pushing as easy), a beautiful baby boy was placed on my chest. I couldn't believe he was mine. A miserable 3 day stay in the NICU started our journey in parenthood. Steven and I stayed in a hotel room inside of Brookwood hospital (yes, they have hotel rooms in the Sleep Study unit of the hospital) for 1 night because I was release a day before Jackson. I was breastfeeding him around the clock, so the NICU nurses got to know me really well. Breastfeeding proved to be no easy feat. The pain was severe for at least a month, and the sleep deprivation was inconceivable. No one can breast feed for me (and you cant pump and let someone else give the baby a bottle---not for several months---your milk supply just doesn't work that way). Life was a weird state of bliss mixed with pandemonium for a while. Jackson cried a WHOLE lot--he had reflux and we finally put him on prescription meds for it. Once his little digestive system grew and matured, we had less problems with reflux and crying, but more problems with sleep. He has never ever slept well for some unknown reason--otherwise knows as temperament. He slept upright in a plush reclined baby chair for a month or so--it's the only way he would sleep because of the reflux. Then, he slept on my chest for about 2 months---literally on top of me----wouldn't sleep any other way. Now he sleeps next to me in the bed.

I do all of the attachment parenting things that La Leche League, Dr. William Sears and Dr. James McKenna at Yale say to do (breastfeed, carry them around everywhere, cosleep, etc). This baby demands constant attention and has me on duty 24 hours a day it seems. He still wakes up several times a night and wants to nurse or be held. As I listen to other mothers say that their baby has been sleeping through the night since birth or shortly after, I am no longer envious because I know that I have something very special. Jackson is adorable, smart, observant, determined, persistent and very loving. He wants to be held all of the time and loves to rock and nurse. This is such a sweet time and I know that it wont last long. So, I vow to savor every minute of it. And I'm filled with joy every morning at 5 a.m. when he rolls over and babbles, "I'm up mamma!". :)